








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3550 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4405 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4433 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,829,752 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzi | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Red John | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Zuli #FotsShired | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Quick-Save | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luzi | 1027 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Quick-Save | 714 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | Zuli #FotsShired | 256 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Red John | 219 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 190 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quick-Save | +4.44 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | DaNi | +3.59 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | Luzi | +3.39 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Zuli #FotsShired | +2.05 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | Red John | +1.91 | 54 | 69 |





