








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 761 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1218 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,931 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobby | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Zuli #FotsShired | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | noAim - Ch3ckMyProfile :) | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | DaNi | 65% | 65 |
| #5 | Luzi | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 61% | 49 |
| #7 | CrixX | 61% | 61 |
| #8 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 59% | 29 |
| #9 | Shirley | 58% | 12 |
| #10 | Der Büffel | Powered by Pasta | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrixX | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | DaNi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Der Büffel | Powered by Pasta | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | noAim - Ch3ckMyProfile :) | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaNi | 188 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 166 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | CrixX | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Der Büffel | Powered by Pasta | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zuli #FotsShired | 47 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Büffel | Powered by Pasta | +3.35 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | CrixX | +2.96 | 94 | 67 |
| #3 | noAim - Ch3ckMyProfile :) | +1.37 | 46 | 86 |
| #4 | DaNi | +1.15 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Karl | +1.13 | 70 | 54 |





