








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 988 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6823 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8201 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8325 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5452 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,047,698 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1046 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 47% | 110 |
| #7 | Smokier_ | 47% | 171 |
| #8 | Lm | 42% | 79 |
| #9 | enzO | 40% | 105 |
| #10 | Gullnesen | 36% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLMO-- | 455 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Fo4m | 336 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 291 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Smokier_ | 267 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | enzO | 255 | 0.11 | 6 min |





