








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 611 | 24% |
| Smokes | 678 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 590 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,420 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nazz | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Avi | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | godkU | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | AliBond | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Rhyza | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | duckoodle | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | ArchithoN | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | Shane | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | nioxa | 20% | 5 |
| #14 | Elixa | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proqian | 79 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nazz | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | PapaP | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | <Archerace ^v^> | 51 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rhyza | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Archerace ^v^> | +3.05 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | godkU | +2.52 | 90 | 75 |
| #3 | PapaP | +1.19 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | Rhyza | +0.89 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Shane | +0.81 | 79 | 59 |





