








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2070 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 865 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1718 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,492 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosty | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | leekb0b | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Sy | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | PapaP | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | shields | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pachrik | 58% | 118 |
| #9 | Pingu | 55% | 11 |
| #10 | <Archerace ^v^> | 54% | 13 |
| #11 | Hamshanks | 50% | 10 |
| #12 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosty | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Hamshanks | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | index | 302 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pachrik | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dweg | 142 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | <Archerace ^v^> | 95 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | PapaP | 90 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosty | +2.68 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | index | +2.25 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | PapaP | +1.73 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Nazz | +1.64 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | Pingu | +0.94 | 86 | 54 |





