








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1434 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1111 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,549 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | s0beit | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | eNdite2g | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 59% | 116 |
| #5 | Saxon | 58% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Silayev | 57% | 119 |
| #7 | Postman ( °ー ° )っ✉ | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | B o0 Bah W key or CHINA | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Sampson | 33% | 15 |
| #10 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Saxon | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | eNdite2g | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | s0beit | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 404 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 300 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Saxon | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 71 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sampson | 60 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNdite2g | +4.24 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | Postman ( °ー ° )っ✉ | +2.32 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Saxon | +1.42 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | tewde | +1.30 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | Silayev | +1.29 | 67 | 71 |





