








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4286 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2915 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,492 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNdite2g | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | alt-M | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Clutch Man Bob | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | tewde | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 54% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | s0beit | 51% | 35 |
| #9 | B o0 Bah W key or CHINA | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 45% | 20 |
| #11 | youzi | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | Sampson | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Clutch Man Bob | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | tewde | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | eNdite2g | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 440 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 254 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Clutch Man Bob | 107 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | tewde | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | youzi | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eNdite2g | +4.90 | 92 | 52 |
| #2 | Saxon | +2.00 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Clutch Man Bob | +1.34 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | +1.31 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | Silayev | +0.75 | 70 | 67 |





