








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1534 | 28% |
| Smokes | 822 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,640 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Silayev | 47% | 106 |
| #9 | B o0 Bah W key or CHINA | 47% | 119 |
| #10 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | 46% | 114 |
| #11 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 41% | 70 |
| #12 | Sampson | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Saxon | 10 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | lordprime | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silayev | 344 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 271 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | 203 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | lordprime | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | opZ ( °ー ° ) | 142 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxon | +4.62 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | tewde | +3.73 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Postman ( °ー ° )っ✉ | +3.41 | 70 | 75 |
| #4 | Silayev | +2.64 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | +1.87 | 69 | 58 |





