








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3625 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1673 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3804 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3511 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $845,977 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sampson | 55% | 85 |
| #8 | B o0 Bah W key or CHINA | 54% | 316 |
| #9 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 54% | 210 |
| #10 | Saxon | 52% | 27 |
| #11 | s0beit | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0beit | 14 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Silayev | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | lordprime | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Saxon | 7 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quinnym8 #FGE | 696 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | lordprime | 434 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Silayev | 358 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | s0beit | 307 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sampson | 275 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxon | +4.11 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Silayev | +2.64 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Sampson | +2.16 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Jimmym8 #FDMG | +1.85 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | Postman ( °ー ° )っ✉ | +1.79 | 66 | 75 |





