








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 73 matches | 2,052 | |
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2293 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2009 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1841 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,706 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drevz | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Dapii | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Colmolol | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | Beshlik | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | jet | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BäärMi | 39% | 18 |
| #11 | FAiiN | 39% | 18 |
| #12 | fiibrezz | 38% | 21 |
| #13 | Norrlando | 33% | 15 |
| #14 | NaM | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunkan =D | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Colmolol | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Papalol | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | fiibrezz | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | NaM | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunkan =D | 766 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | ppihC | 262 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Papalol | 156 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Colmolol | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | grund | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunkan =D | +2.42 | 88 | 75 |
| #2 | Dapii | +1.39 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | ToxiN | +1.39 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Colmolol | +0.96 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | grund | -0.23 | 65 | 62 |





