








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Esplay | 110 matches | 2,086 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 196 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5732 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5224 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3271 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3407 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,668 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dapii | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | BäärMi | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Drevz | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Colmolol | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | Papalol | 48% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | grund | 43% | 90 |
| #12 | fiibrezz | 42% | 45 |
| #13 | FAiiN | 41% | 46 |
| #14 | Norrlando | 33% | 33 |
| #15 | DONBROCO | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToxiN | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Colmolol | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | fiibrezz | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | NaM | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ppihC | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToxiN | 656 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | ppihC | 498 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Papalol | 247 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Colmolol | 225 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Drevz | 148 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunkan =D | +3.11 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | Dapii | +1.98 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | ToxiN | +1.21 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Colmolol | +1.09 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | grund | -0.26 | 69 | 62 |





