








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4702 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2050 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 5982 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3322 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,384,765 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master#1 | 56% | 191 |
| #2 | Natcho ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | Ninarino ♥ | 53% | 300 |
| #4 | _#hugo. | 50% | 271 |
| #5 | Tikteriとら | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ART | 48% | 107 |
| #7 | chief chulio | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | Wuschy#♥ | 37% | 35 |
| #9 | Blackbird | 36% | 42 |
| #10 | OLGA-AMG /// | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master#1 | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | _#hugo. | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Ninarino ♥ | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ART | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Natcho ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninarino ♥ | 572 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | _#hugo. | 528 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Master#1 | 496 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | ART | 277 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | chief chulio | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackbird | +2.23 | 73 | 36 |
| #2 | chief chulio | +1.17 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | ✪Вебер™ | HunnyBoppin` | +1.09 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Master#1 | +0.92 | 81 | 72 |
| #5 | Ninarino ♥ | +0.11 | 77 | 59 |





