








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 609 matches | ||
| Wingman | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7612 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8665 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5025 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5357 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,145,673 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | u poopn? | 50% | 496 |
| #4 | Bad Ape | 48% | 434 |
| #5 | Gluggin | 48% | 386 |
| #6 | Xilcry | 45% | 100 |
| #7 | Eazy-Cheezy | 31% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gluggin | 35 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Bad Ape | 34 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | u poopn? | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Big Mamoo | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Xilcry | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gluggin | 917 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | u poopn? | 885 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #3 | Bad Ape | 475 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | Xilcry | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Big Mamoo | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u poopn? | +1.33 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Gluggin | +0.78 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | Xilcry | +0.74 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | dvd vcr combo | +0.32 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | Bad Ape | -0.14 | 69 | 46 |





