








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 674 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1870 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3316 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,734,396 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xilcry | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | dvd vcr combo | 50% | 242 |
| #3 | u poopn? | 50% | 265 |
| #4 | Bad Ape | 49% | 273 |
| #5 | Gluggin | 48% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xilcry | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | dvd vcr combo | 50% | 242 |
| #3 | u poopn? | 50% | 265 |
| #4 | Bad Ape | 49% | 273 |
| #5 | Gluggin | 48% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gluggin | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Bad Ape | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | u poopn? | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | dvd vcr combo | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Xilcry | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dvd vcr combo | 751 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | u poopn? | 600 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Gluggin | 518 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Bad Ape | 344 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | Xilcry | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xilcry | +2.54 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | u poopn? | +0.91 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | Gluggin | +0.88 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | dvd vcr combo | +0.09 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | Bad Ape | -0.08 | 69 | 44 |





