








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1424 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2559 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1712 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,091 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thobble | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Wünder Bjarne™ | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | 𝔼𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟 | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Forslund | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | 🥶 auslanD^ | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | drFiL | 49% | 216 |
| #10 | Stein | 47% | 36 |
| #11 | mbale | 47% | 85 |
| #12 | Tveitn | 45% | 111 |
| #13 | ☯ Nimbus | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drFiL | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Mads | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Tveitn | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Stein | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Forslund | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drFiL | 791 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Tveitn | 391 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Mads | 169 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | thobble | 160 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | mbale | 143 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thobble | +2.64 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | drFiL | +1.51 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | 𝔼𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟 | +1.04 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | Wünder Bjarne™ | +0.74 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | ☯ Nimbus | +0.44 | 76 | 67 |





