








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7664 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6266 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4642 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4361 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,584,682 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ullaβ | 57% | 116 |
| #2 | Stein | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | thobble | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | πΌπππ₯π π | 55% | 156 |
| #5 | JebeN | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | sNEAKYLITTLEBITCH ;> | 48% | 89 |
| #10 | WΓΌnder Bjarneβ’ | 47% | 51 |
| #11 | KnuudT <3 βΏ | 47% | 30 |
| #12 | RonnieA | 46% | 95 |
| #13 | Carss | 45% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mbale | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ullaβ | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | RonnieA | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | πΌπππ₯π π | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Carss | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drFiL | 618 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | mbale | 422 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | sNEAKYLITTLEBITCH ;> | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | πΌπππ₯π π | 210 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | RonnieA | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thobble | +4.07 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | drFiL | +1.34 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | ullaβ | +1.15 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | JebeN | +0.74 | 45 | 73 |
| #5 | πΌπππ₯π π | +0.61 | 76 | 72 |





