








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6454 | 46% |
| Smokes | 3118 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1445 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2948 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,638 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ranox | 47% | 257 |
| #5 | Marcello | 47% | 294 |
| #6 | she1by | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | youman | 45% | 44 |
| #8 | COOKIELEG | 45% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ranox | 23 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Marcello | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | L3ss_DD_ow | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | COOKIELEG | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | jjjjj_gura | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3ss_DD_ow | 864 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ranox | 822 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | Marcello | 620 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | COOKIELEG | 154 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | youman | 134 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ranox | +2.50 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | youman | +2.14 | 55 | 63 |
| #3 | Marcello | +1.48 | 48 | 73 |
| #4 | she1by | -0.14 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | 平均超濃起司愛好者 | -0.76 | 46 | 66 |





