








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1335 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1620 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 5550 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 4160 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,301 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snackZ | 62% | 131 |
| #2 | dannzy | 62% | 60 |
| #3 | Fla$H-乇ムら¥ | 53% | 281 |
| #4 | ArSa | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla$H-乇ムら¥ | 32 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Orgil | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | snackZ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ArSa | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla$H-乇ムら¥ | 841 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | 486 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Orgil | 273 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | ArSa | 215 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | dannzy | 137 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla$H-乇ムら¥ | +2.41 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | dannzy | +2.36 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Griffith The Hawk of Light | +0.58 | 44 | 67 |
| #4 | ArSa | +0.40 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Steakintegral | -0.09 | 78 | 51 |





