








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4966 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3717 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3397 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3539 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,482 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish fileting frank #oceanlife | 69% | 55 |
| #2 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | 67% | 64 |
| #3 | Milzzy | 63% | 63 |
| #4 | illu | 62% | 89 |
| #5 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 58% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rossouw | 58% | 62 |
| #7 | Zusy | 57% | 56 |
| #8 | kepper | 56% | 52 |
| #9 | Erson | 56% | 90 |
| #10 | styopa | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 44 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Erson | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | illu | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | fish fileting frank #oceanlife | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 1022 | 0.26 | 29 min |
| #2 | Milzzy | 222 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Erson | 189 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | illu | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zusy | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illu | +3.72 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | water | +3.24 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | +2.36 | 93 | 61 |
| #4 | fish fileting frank #oceanlife | +2.34 | 92 | 49 |
| #5 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | +0.06 | 78 | 79 |





