








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3318 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3056 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2374 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3414 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,066,804 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 635 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 68% | 60 |
| #2 | illu | 67% | 138 |
| #3 | water | 67% | 64 |
| #4 | styopa | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | Bill | 62% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | styopa | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | Bill | 62% | 55 |
| #6 | Milzzy | 58% | 57 |
| #7 | Erson | 57% | 42 |
| #8 | pine✿ | 56% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 20 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Erson | 7 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | illu | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | water | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Milzzy | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | water | 372 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 336 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #3 | illu | 298 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Milzzy | 276 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bill | 242 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illu | +2.97 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | +2.34 | 92 | 57 |
| #3 | water | +2.22 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | pine✿ | +1.37 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | -0.26 | 76 | 75 |





