








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1282 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1177 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1608 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1124 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,166 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styopa | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Milzzy | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | illu | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | kepper | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | water | 56% | 90 |
| #8 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 56% | 126 |
| #9 | Rossouw | 52% | 31 |
| #10 | fish fileting frank #oceanlife | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | GeeQ csgobig.com | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 39 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | water | 18 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | illu | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Rossouw | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROUND DWELLER (trying now) | 683 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | water | 552 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #3 | illu | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zusy | 82 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illu | +5.11 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | fish fileting frank #oceanlife | +3.78 | 94 | 33 |
| #3 | GeeQ csgobig.com | +3.37 | 96 | 44 |
| #4 | water | +3.18 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | lincoln with shawty #abraham | +2.79 | 93 | 58 |





