








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 365 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4141 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2612 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3393 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3193 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,912 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strawberryplus | 75% | 76 |
| #2 | Heo | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | Suction Cup Man | 71% | 62 |
| #4 | Jordanlol | 70% | 27 |
| #5 | Okiyo . ★⋆ | 70% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dRIPpy | +3.12 | 75 | 81 |
| #2 | Jordanlol | +2.41 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Gibby | +2.24 | 79 | 33 |
| #4 | Kam | +1.45 | 42 | 61 |
| #5 | Okiyo . ★⋆ | +1.29 | 44 | 61 |





