








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 6% |
| Smokes | 909 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 753 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,348 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyRadio | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Suction Cup Man | 69% | 65 |
| #3 | dRIPpy | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | Bitch-Ass Drippy | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Okiyo . ★⋆ | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dRIPpy | 231 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #2 | dRIPpy | 207 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jordanlol | 101 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Okiyo . ★⋆ | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bitch-Ass Drippy | 62 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitch-Ass Drippy | +4.97 | 63 | 77 |
| #2 | dRIPpy | +4.06 | 77 | 86 |
| #3 | dRIPpy | +3.27 | 80 | 84 |
| #4 | Gibby | +1.82 | 62 | 30 |
| #5 | Okiyo . ★⋆ | +1.77 | 63 | 61 |





