








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 449 | 13% |
| Smokes | 801 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,373 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polpot | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 48% | 86 |
| #3 | Qubekus | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | kutasik | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | cuh | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kutasik | 45% | 141 |
| #5 | cuh | 43% | 104 |
| #6 | bruno ligma | 36% | 33 |
| #7 | Eagle | 30% | 30 |
| #8 | kleszczu | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | kutasik | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | cuh | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | kleszczu | 5 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | bruno ligma | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kutasik | 434 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | cuh | 407 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 338 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Eagle | 130 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | bruno ligma | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polpot | +2.05 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | +0.97 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | kutasik | +0.94 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Eagle | +0.90 | 73 | 48 |
| #5 | Qubekus | +0.86 | 44 | 48 |





