








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4607 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4224 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4878 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2394 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,075 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SZARKS | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Polpot | 56% | 154 |
| #3 | MAO ZEDONG | 52% | 163 |
| #4 | kleszczu | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | kutasik | 51% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kutasik | 51% | 287 |
| #6 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 51% | 168 |
| #7 | Eagle | 49% | 179 |
| #8 | bruno ligma | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | oopsie 🎀 slay | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kleszczu | 21 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Polpot | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | MAO ZEDONG | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Eagle | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 10 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kutasik | 895 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Eagle | 827 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #3 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 634 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | MAO ZEDONG | 584 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | kleszczu | 301 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polpot | +2.93 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | MAO ZEDONG | +1.78 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Eagle | +0.94 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | +0.80 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | kutasik | +0.21 | 53 | 62 |





