








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3800 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2368 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2342 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1911 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,595 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | 51% | 70 |
| #2 | cuh | 49% | 179 |
| #3 | kutasik | 49% | 127 |
| #4 | Polpot | 48% | 186 |
| #5 | MAO ZEDONG | 48% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kutasik | 49% | 127 |
| #4 | Polpot | 48% | 186 |
| #5 | MAO ZEDONG | 48% | 181 |
| #6 | kleszczu | 46% | 229 |
| #7 | oopsie 🎀 slay | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kleszczu | 37 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Polpot | 26 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | MAO ZEDONG | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | cuh | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | kutasik | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAO ZEDONG | 649 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | cuh | 627 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | kleszczu | 472 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | kutasik | 391 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Polpot | 334 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polpot | +1.67 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | MAO ZEDONG | +1.03 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | Eagle | +0.89 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | +0.06 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | kutasik | -0.53 | 50 | 58 |





