








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5380 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2599 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2972 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 980 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,581 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAO ZEDONG | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | Polpot | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | Qubekus | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Eagle | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | cuh | 51% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cuh | 51% | 168 |
| #6 | oopsie 🎀 slay | 48% | 86 |
| #7 | kutasik | 48% | 235 |
| #8 | bruno ligma | 43% | 40 |
| #9 | kleszczu | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAO ZEDONG | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Polpot | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | kutasik | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Eagle | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | cuh | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kutasik | 763 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | cuh | 643 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Eagle | 327 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | MAO ZEDONG | 258 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | kleszczu | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polpot | +1.48 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | MAO ZEDONG | +0.96 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | Eagle | +0.73 | 76 | 53 |
| #4 | Qubekus | +0.45 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | Piotr ''Bestia'' Piechowiak | +0.36 | 68 | 62 |





