








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 534 matches | ||
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10259 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4464 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 9322 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6762 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,733,515 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodle | 67% | 63 |
| #2 | ★ MrPeKay ★ | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | KiCk!nG | 52% | 152 |
| #4 | kaw0nee | 51% | 120 |
| #5 | Don Falcon | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | TJay | 47% | 102 |
| #13 | Baba D DinkS | 45% | 174 |
| #14 | DRK | 42% | 89 |
| #15 | Z1p | 39% | 97 |
| #16 | Jesus Money | 35% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Money | 28 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | LegumZ | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | KiCk!nG | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | NutMax | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Z1p | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiCk!nG | +4.13 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | Noodle | +3.87 | 91 | 64 |
| #3 | NutMax | +1.95 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | LegumZ | +1.78 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | ForTiN | +1.53 | 75 | 69 |





