








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2791 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1322 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3643 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2860 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,343 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | King Dingus | 50% | 179 |
| #5 | NickyD | 48% | 226 |
| #6 | Josh-Auron | 47% | 121 |
| #7 | Jamezo | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | Randezo | 45% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frozen | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | King Dingus | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jamezo | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | NickyD | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Randezo | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Dingus | 343 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | NickyD | 300 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Frozen | 300 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Randezo | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Josh-Auron | 187 | 0.08 | 6 min |





