








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4128 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5324 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3451 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3041 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,133 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Josh-Auron | 48% | 303 |
| #9 | Jamezo | 48% | 63 |
| #10 | The Legend 27 | 47% | 108 |
| #11 | Randezo | 46% | 145 |
| #12 | NickyD | 44% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Legend 27 | 19 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Josh-Auron | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Jamezo | 13 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Beetle | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Frozen | 9 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh-Auron | 518 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | NickyD | 349 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | MadMike™ | 298 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Frozen | 271 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | The Legend 27 | 263 | 0.12 | 6 min |





