








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2433 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4535 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3698 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2836 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,425,729 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MadMike™ | 48% | 226 |
| #7 | Jamezo | 47% | 98 |
| #8 | Randezo | 44% | 151 |
| #9 | King Dingus | 44% | 251 |
| #10 | Josh-Auron | 43% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Dingus | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jamezo | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Frozen | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | MadMike™ | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Randezo | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Dingus | 500 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | MadMike™ | 398 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Frozen | 311 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Josh-Auron | 261 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Randezo | 245 | 0.08 | 5 min |





