








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1887 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,707 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Pasha Pundeer | 62% | 106 |
| #2 | ☜☆☞ WarHeadYT ☜☆☞ | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | TheRock | 55% | 120 |
| #4 | Rancor | 54% | 147 |
| #5 | Pat | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | coolfool | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | caribah | 45% | 56 |
| #9 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | Halter | 41% | 64 |
| #11 | PointDexter | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halter | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Rancor | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TheRock | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ☜☆☞ WarHeadYT ☜☆☞ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Pat | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Pasha Pundeer | 377 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rancor | 374 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Halter | 262 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | caribah | 255 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | TheRock | 244 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caribah | +1.69 | 58 | 79 |
| #2 | ☜☆☞ WarHeadYT ☜☆☞ | +1.45 | 94 | 53 |
| #3 | ✪Pasha Pundeer | +1.31 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Halter | +0.71 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | TheRock | +0.45 | 71 | 36 |





