








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8410 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9436 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6718 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7222 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,475,358 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | EFFiciencY | 53% | 131 |
| #6 | Smoosh | 53% | 123 |
| #7 | Grobidumm | 52% | 322 |
| #8 | VraM | 48% | 174 |
| #9 | >8< Kimitrix Bibri >8< | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobes | 966 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | Grobidumm | 650 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | EFFiciencY | 324 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Smoosh | 272 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | VraM | 264 | 0.07 | 5 min |





