








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2292 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2402 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,334 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Jolle | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | Rohmu | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | Jorgon | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | t0psi | 56% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | t0psi | 56% | 106 |
| #6 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 56% | 135 |
| #7 | Valdozz | 55% | 69 |
| #8 | ööööööö | 51% | 53 |
| #9 | Hegucci | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hegucci | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Jolle | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | t0psi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Valdozz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorgon | 278 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 184 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | t0psi | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hegucci | 122 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jolle | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | +3.08 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | t0psi | +1.18 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | Jorgon | +1.14 | 45 | 66 |
| #4 | Hegucci | +0.94 | 45 | 74 |
| #5 | Shadow | +0.62 | 55 | 66 |





