








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1556 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2560 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3469 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2296 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,730 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rohmu | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Jyffe | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | Jorgon | 56% | 173 |
| #4 | Shadow | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | Valdozz | 55% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 55% | 230 |
| #7 | ööööööö | 53% | 43 |
| #8 | Jolle | 53% | 93 |
| #9 | Hegucci | 48% | 129 |
| #10 | niklasvaltteri | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolle | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Jorgon | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Hegucci | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Valdozz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorgon | 1113 | 0.30 | 31 min |
| #2 | Hegucci | 693 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #3 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 619 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #4 | Shadow | 281 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jolle | 245 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | +4.15 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Rohmu | +1.61 | 65 | 48 |
| #3 | t0psi | +0.94 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Shadow | +0.77 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | Hegucci | +0.37 | 49 | 74 |





