








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 327 matches | ||
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9135 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8164 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5556 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4505 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,290 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ööööööö | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | t0psi | 56% | 173 |
| #3 | Shadow | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 55% | 429 |
| #5 | Jolle | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 55% | 429 |
| #5 | Jolle | 54% | 80 |
| #6 | Jyffe | 53% | 92 |
| #7 | Valdozz | 52% | 227 |
| #8 | Hegucci | 51% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Hegucci | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Valdozz | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | t0psi | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jolle | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hegucci | 1134 | 0.26 | 30 min |
| #2 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 1064 | 0.11 | 35 min |
| #3 | Jyffe | 441 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | Valdozz | 396 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | t0psi | 276 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | +2.70 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | Shadow | +1.33 | 51 | 67 |
| #3 | Hegucci | +0.76 | 54 | 73 |
| #4 | t0psi | +0.26 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | Jorgon | +0.13 | 51 | 70 |





