








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4448 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4014 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2294 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,826,807 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ööööööö | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | t0psi | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | Shadow | 55% | 69 |
| #4 | Jorgon | 52% | 227 |
| #5 | Jyffe | 52% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jorgon | 52% | 227 |
| #5 | Jyffe | 52% | 71 |
| #6 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 51% | 360 |
| #7 | Hegucci | 49% | 192 |
| #8 | Jolle | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Hegucci | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Jorgon | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Jolle | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Shadow | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorgon | 1524 | 0.31 | 43 min |
| #2 | Hegucci | 1100 | 0.26 | 29 min |
| #3 | Lαɾɠσɳ | 931 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #4 | Jyffe | 335 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #5 | Shadow | 205 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyffe | +3.85 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | Hegucci | +1.21 | 56 | 74 |
| #3 | Shadow | +1.04 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | Jorgon | +0.65 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | t0psi | +0.58 | 65 | 54 |





