








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10814 | 42% |
| Smokes | 5463 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6784 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2405 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,280 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baglivo | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | dui2k | 59% | 95 |
| #3 | soccerfish37 | 47% | 173 |
| #4 | tootafroota | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | Sam | 40% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | soccerfish37 | 47% | 173 |
| #4 | tootafroota | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | Sam | 40% | 156 |
| #6 | Legacyy85 | 40% | 124 |
| #7 | Helen Keller | 39% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helen Keller | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | soccerfish37 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Sam | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | dui2k | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Legacyy85 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tootafroota | 452 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sam | 217 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Helen Keller | 211 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | dui2k | 171 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | soccerfish37 | 158 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soccerfish37 | +3.57 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | tootafroota | +3.36 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | dui2k | +1.90 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Baglivo | -0.01 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Helen Keller | -0.76 | 47 | 48 |





