








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4266 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3551 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3306 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3238 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,040 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soccerfish37 | 53% | 330 |
| #2 | Helen Keller | 49% | 213 |
| #3 | Sam | 49% | 230 |
| #4 | RED6 | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | splat37 | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soccerfish37 | 53% | 330 |
| #2 | Helen Keller | 49% | 213 |
| #3 | Sam | 49% | 230 |
| #4 | RED6 | 47% | 109 |
| #5 | splat37 | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soccerfish37 | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Sam | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Helen Keller | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | RED6 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | splat37 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RED6 | 586 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sam | 437 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Helen Keller | 388 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | soccerfish37 | 375 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | splat37 | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tootafroota | +2.88 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | soccerfish37 | +2.02 | 64 | 49 |
| #3 | Helen Keller | -1.44 | 41 | 48 |
| #4 | RED6 | -2.33 | 31 | 76 |
| #5 | Sam | -2.71 | 47 | 34 |





