








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 34% |
| Smokes | 259 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 187 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 608 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,091 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | トラビス | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | counterspelled | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | Not Netanyahu | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Not Gabe | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | ᴬʳᵍᵒʳⁿ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | counterspelled | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | Not Netanyahu | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Not Gabe | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | ᴬʳᵍᵒʳⁿ | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | Jihad Joe | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Gabe | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | counterspelled | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Not Netanyahu | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | トラビス | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Jihad Joe | 4 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | counterspelled | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jihad Joe | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Not Gabe | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | トラビス | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ᴬʳᵍᵒʳⁿ | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | counterspelled | +5.31 | 63 | 48 |
| #2 | Not Gabe | +4.34 | 64 | 46 |
| #3 | ᴬʳᵍᵒʳⁿ | +3.94 | 66 | 43 |
| #4 | Jihad Joe | +0.75 | 62 | 47 |
| #5 | トラビス | +0.22 | 33 | 14 |





