








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4155 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6457 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4603 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4583 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,451,582 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThEdgEEEE | 54% | 87 |
| #2 | Jihad Joe | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | TrashxPanda | 52% | 255 |
| #4 | SkottchNsniff | 51% | 113 |
| #5 | Cashen | 50% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TrashxPanda | 52% | 255 |
| #4 | SkottchNsniff | 51% | 113 |
| #5 | Cashen | 50% | 250 |
| #6 | Googs♠ | 49% | 213 |
| #7 | Travis | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jihad Joe | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | TrashxPanda | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Googs♠ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | SkottchNsniff | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Travis | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cashen | 652 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | TrashxPanda | 419 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | SkottchNsniff | 330 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | ThEdgEEEE | 316 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Googs♠ | 270 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Argorn | +1.25 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Googs♠ | +0.76 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | TrashxPanda | +0.04 | 49 | 59 |
| #4 | Jihad Joe | -0.04 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | Cashen | -0.12 | 70 | 64 |





