








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 847 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,295 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | トラビス | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | counterspelled | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Not Netanyahu | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | Jihad Joe | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | TODD | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | トラビス | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | counterspelled | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Not Netanyahu | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | Jihad Joe | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | TODD | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Netanyahu | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Jihad Joe | 7 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | トラビス | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | counterspelled | 4 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | TODD | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jihad Joe | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | TODD | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | トラビス | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | counterspelled | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Not Netanyahu | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Gabe | +4.28 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | counterspelled | +3.69 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Jihad Joe | +2.05 | 65 | 47 |
| #4 | トラビス | -0.20 | 34 | 18 |
| #5 | Not Netanyahu | -4.93 | 9 | 16 |





