








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1277 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2101 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1614 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,206,299 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomor | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Primo | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | 4z! | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | reddy | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Gza | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Holocene | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | Sylvester Cobblestallone | 50% | 30 |
| #12 | BabaYaga | 45% | 55 |
| #13 | Lennon | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | klash_knee_cough | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cquenc3 | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Sylvester Cobblestallone | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | klash_knee_cough | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ohdearitsme ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Lennon | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cquenc3 | 405 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #2 | BabaYaga | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | ohdearitsme ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | aN //.- | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lennon | 85 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennon | +3.66 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Holocene | +2.45 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | ohdearitsme ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.61 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | p3ttS | +1.43 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | Gza | +0.82 | 66 | 68 |





