








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 140 | 22% |
| Smokes | 247 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 97 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 163 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,400 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ุ | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Dub Shitty | 76% | 17 |
| #4 | JimmyYakitori | 72% | 18 |
| #5 | fizz :*muah | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ุ | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Dub Shitty | 76% | 17 |
| #4 | JimmyYakitori | 72% | 18 |
| #5 | fizz :*muah | 64% | 14 |
| #6 | Gamer Girl | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fizz :*muah | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 62 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | fizz :*muah | 47 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dub Shitty | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | JimmyYakitori | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gamer Girl | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gargoyle | +6.80 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | fizz :*muah | +1.57 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Goose | +0.15 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | ุ | -0.23 | 36 | 83 |
| #5 | Dub Shitty | -1.33 | 51 | 57 |





