








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1196 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,818 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stui | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | luzo | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Zure | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | SamBaPiT | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Mike257 | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Fred | 50% | 26 |
| #11 | quick | 50% | 48 |
| #12 | Steak aber saftig | 45% | 42 |
| #13 | vox | 39% | 28 |
| #14 | s33k | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nib | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Zorn1g | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Steak aber saftig | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | CaluadaN | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | vox | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | 329 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | quick | 171 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gaindalf | 159 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Steak aber saftig | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | vox | 142 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | +4.16 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Zure | +2.89 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | BluT | +1.04 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | s33k | +0.69 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | SamBaPiT | +0.56 | 81 | 65 |





