








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 32% |
| Smokes | 370 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 295 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,927 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hi I'm Albi | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Gaindalf | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Zorn1g | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | BluT | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | quick | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | SamBaPiT | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | s33k | 20% | 10 |
| #10 | rojo | 14% | 7 |
| #11 | oN | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 1 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | 156 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | BluT | 110 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gaindalf | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | s33k | 46 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | rojo | 32 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorn1g | +4.18 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | s33k | +0.79 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | SamBaPiT | +0.40 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | oN | +0.29 | 60 | 36 |
| #5 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | +0.09 | 22 | 70 |





