








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 673 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1246 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1068 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,120 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPhil thesis | 60% | 88 |
| #2 | Nxty | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Watch | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | Oppollopl | 53% | 106 |
| #5 | Doss | 52% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPhil thesis | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Oppollopl | 15 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Doss | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Nxty | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Dior | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPhil thesis | 300 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | ◥◣Ukrainian Sniper◢◤ | 263 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Doss | 232 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Watch | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Swabey | 98 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Watch | +2.76 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | MPhil thesis | +2.47 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | Doss | +1.15 | 84 | 52 |
| #4 | Swabey | +0.96 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Dior | -0.39 | 57 | 28 |





