








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 8% |
| Smokes | 829 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,639 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | ◥◣Ukrainian Sniper◢◤ | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | SC - Solsmoove | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | MPhil thesis | 47% | 43 |
| #5 | Oppollopl | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doss | 14 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Oppollopl | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | MPhil thesis | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Nxty | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Watch | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◥◣Ukrainian Sniper◢◤ | 272 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Doss | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Watch | 140 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | MPhil thesis | 110 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oppollopl | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPhil thesis | +2.76 | 83 | 40 |
| #2 | Watch | +1.53 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Doss | +0.61 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | Nxty | +0.36 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Oppollopl | +0.36 | 69 | 56 |





