








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4357 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3085 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3577 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2620 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,781,466 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hawy | 70% | 74 |
| #2 | Razy | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | plum | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | bread | 67% | 45 |
| #5 | Ghezzi | 66% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HeresyEye | 58% | 50 |
| #7 | Ch1qu1 | 53% | 45 |
| #8 | water | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | Grady | 50% | 58 |
| #10 | j | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grady | 16 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Ch1qu1 | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | water | 9 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | hawy | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | HeresyEye | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grady | 209 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | bread | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | water | 146 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ghezzi | 143 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ch1qu1 | 141 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j | +4.17 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | Razy | +2.53 | 85 | 73 |
| #3 | hawy | +2.33 | 59 | 47 |
| #4 | Grady | +1.86 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Tyrone | +1.67 | 70 | 61 |





