








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11885 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7694 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5258 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7825 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,912,779 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 587 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyl | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Shark | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Brando | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | kkamm | 50% | 136 |
| #5 | Orix | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shark | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Brando | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | kkamm | 50% | 136 |
| #5 | Orix | 49% | 82 |
| #6 | rhetorikk | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyl | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | rhetorikk | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Brando | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Shark | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Orix | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kkamm | 591 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | rhetorikk | 229 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Brando | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dyl | 197 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shark | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kkamm | +1.71 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Cr0n1X | +0.74 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Brando | +0.12 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | rhetorikk | -0.13 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Dyl | -0.20 | 64 | 62 |





